Awakening: Four

Light shines through Jared's eye lids to the point where he cannot stay asleep any longer. He is immediately filled with a sense of dread and fear unlike anything he has ever known. Waking up in a strange house somewhere he still has no idea where was, then another place, then a train, and then a nightmare haunted by many of his exes. His mind fills with how nothing good can come of wherever he is.

He knows that going back to sleep will take him elsewhere, but he has slept too much and his body is uncooperative. Still, he keeps his eyes shut.

The dream of exes was days ago. He had woken up and fallen back asleep ten, fifteen, maybe a hundred times since then. Every time, he opens his eyes and doesn't recognize anything around him and attempts to fall back asleep.

He squeezes his eyes closed tighter as he fights back tears of hopelessness. He squeezes his eyes tighter as he fights back the tears of fearing where he could possibly be.

His consciousness extends out into his surroundings before he realizes it, and he begins hearing Viagra Boys playing from outside whatever room he is in. His eyes are still intensely shut, but the tight squeeze begins to give way as a tear streams down the side of his face.

His eyes open and he finds himself in a vaguely familiar place. It is clearly a hotel room of some sort, but it is more than just that. He knows this hotel room. He has been here before - he has been to a lot of hotels in his life, but none of them feature this unique mixture of abstract art, modern adornments, and a bed sitting against a half way in the middle of the living quarters. At the end of the bed, past a walkway to get around the bed, is a wall sized window. This was a hotel he took someone on a weekend getaway many years ago, and it is attached to an account he has utilized extensively for years longer.

He picks up the phone and dials the front desk.

"Hello, this is Jared..." His last name evades him, but the account number is somehow easier to remember for him. "Account number 414482619." The numbers can be separated out into important dates and numbers, as four has always been his favorite number, August 26th was his birthday, and he was born in the 1900s.

"Ah, good morning sir. It is good to have you back. You came in late last night, hopefully you had a great night's sleep."

"About what time was it that I arrived last night again?" He has absolutely no recollection of anything beyond waking up in this bed and days ago being on a train and before that being in some tropical Asian country.

"It was 3:19 in the morning, according to the account. You also had ordered some clothing to be delivered to your room, which should be at the door now."

"Thank you. For everything." Jared hangs up the phone more confused than ever, but walks to the door with his dick hanging in the cold hotel air. Sure enough, there are bags of clothes sitting at the door waiting for him. He looks down the hall in both directions - Viagra Boys are louder in the hall, as it is clear that one of the room service cleaners have chosen some rather energetic music to do their work to.

The clothes are an odd combination of normal street clothing with a couple of full suits, complete with ties, dress socks, and shoes. There is also a suitcase sitting with the bags of clothes big enough to fit it all. He looks at the clothes he gathered from his first village he visited. He adds those clothes into the suitcase with all the rest of the clothes from the bags, with the exception of what he plans on wearing today - a normal pair of jeans and a standard, run of the mill t-shirt, socks, and tennis shoes, and then proceeds to take his first real shower in what feels like forever.

And the shower is glorious. He hadn't realized how much he missed the normalcy of hot water pouring out over his body, with body wash and shampoo. To feel clean is to feel a slight sliver of perfection to him in this very moment in time.

He spends a half hour, maybe longer, just embracing the hot water, but feeling his body shriveling up like a raisin he decides it is time to get out and get ready for the day. He knows he is about a 4 hour drive from his home, but he finally feels like this nightmare is going to be over.

As he is putting on the final bit of his clothes, he notices an envelope on the night stand and it is addressed to himself. He opens the envelope and begins to read.

"Jared - me, you, whatever. Its confusing, I know. You'll eventually figure it out, but I made sure to take care of you, your version of me, on this leg of your journey. Don't get used to this, though. You're needed someone else - no, I am needed, but you are me. Its all really confusing. Enjoy the day off, though. The pizza place down the road was our favorite when we came here with Jenny, and this time you don't have her with you to ruin the place by complaining the whole time. It will taste even better this time. Make sure to stop by the bookstore, too, because you'll need some entertainment. You've got plenty of money for all this, but when you wake up tomorrow you'll be much more miserable than you are today. Like I said, just enjoy the day. -Jared

PS - It is really weird writing a letter to myself when I know more about what is going on with myself than I do when I am reading this."

"What in the ever living fuck?"

-Dustin S. Stover